“A preacher should have the mid of a scholar, the heart of a child, and the hide of a rhinoceros. His biggest problem is how to toughen his hide without hardening his heart” (Vance Havner).
That observation from Vance Havner captures one of the most difficult realities of Christian ministry. The work of serving people requires tenderness, compassion, patience, and love. yet the same ministry that demands a soft heart often delivers wounds that tempt that heart to become hard.
Most men enter ministry because they love people and want to help people. They want to preach the Word, to see souls saved, help strengthen families, and watch believers grow in Christ.
Few enter ministry expecting to be wounded by the very people they are trying to help.
Yet if a man serves long enough, he discovers and unavoidable reality: ministry is, in a very real sense, volunteering to be hurt. The very thing that makes ministry beautiful is the very thing that makes ministry painful. The closer you get to people, the more opportunities there will be for disappointment, misunderstanding, criticism, and heartache. Every past eventually learns that some of the deepest wounds will not come from enemies. They will come from people he loved.
As Paul wrote to his young sons in the faith – Timothy and Titus – he acknowledged to both of them that Gospel ministry requires unusual endurance under criticism and suffering.
When Paul wrote to Timothy, he did not promise ease. He promised hardship.
“Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ” (2 Timothy 2:3).
Later, Paul commanded him again:
“But watch though in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry” (2 Timothy 4:5).
Notice the connection. Paul did not separate ministry from suffering. He connected them. Timothy would face criticism. Some would abandon him. Others would oppose his teaching. Still others would reject the truth altogether. And Paul’s solution was not to tell Timothy to quit caring so much. Rather, Paul’s solution was to tell Timothy to keep serving.
Paul says much the same thing to Titus.
“These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee” (Titus 2:15).
That verse only makes sense if Paul understood what faithful ministry produces.
- When a man exhorts, some will resist
- When a man rebukes error, some will resent it
- When a man stands firmly on truth, some will despise him for it
Paul was not naive and he didn’t want Timothy or Titus to be either. He understood human nature would create more friction than growth. Yet he never tells Timothy or Titus to soften the truth to avoid being hurt. Neither does he tell Timothy or Titus to harden their hearts to avoid having their hearts crushed. Faithfulness to what God has called the minister to do is more important than comfort in ministry.
The greatest danger for the minister is not that the minister will get hurt. The greatest danger for the minister is that the minister will get hard.
Most pastors I have talked to over the years can tell all kinds of stories about criticisms they have survived. I’ve sat through more than a few of these “horror story” sessions. As I’ve listened to these veteran pastors talk I’ve come to discover there are two extremes anyone going through such horrible criticisms can fall into.
- Some men develop a rhinoceros hide and lose a soft heart. They become suspicious of everyone. They stop trusting people. They stop believing the best. The joy leaves the ministry long before they leave the ministry.
- Some men develop a soft heart but never develop a rhinoceros hide. Those men live and die by the opinions of others. They remain tender, but they become fragile. Before long they begin altering ministry to avoid pain. They avoid hard conversations and soften necessary correction. They remain silent when they should be speaking to avoid hurting anyones feelings.
One man becomes hard. The other man becomes controlled by hurt. Neither is healthy!
Paul called Timothy and Titus to something better. He told them to endure.
I suspect every person who serves Christ long enough eventually discovers why it’s probably important I’m writing about this. At some point someone you invested in will disappoint you. If ministry has taught me anything, it is that some of the deepest wounds are not inflicted by enemies but by people you genuinely love.
In those moments, the greatest temptation is not necessarily to quit (though that’s a very real temptation). The greatest temptation I’ve discovered is the protection to protect yourself. To care a little less. To invest a little less. To love a little less. To build walks where doors once stood. But the irony is that the things we do to avoid being hurt are often the very things that hinder us from ministering effectively.
You cannot weep with people who weep, rejoice with people who rejoice, disciple people, and bear others burdens with them while keeping your heart safely insulated from every disappointment.
The truth is that ministry has always been costly. It cost Paul. It cost Timothy. It cost Titus. And ultimately, it cost our Lord far more than it will ever cost us.
So perhaps the goal is not to figure out how to serve Christ without being hurt (you will!). The Goal is to learn how to be hurt without allowing the hurt to change who Christ has called us to be.
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