A Theology of Woman from Titus 2: Grace-Driven Living and Training

This blog series is adapted from Sunday School lessons I wrote several years ago for women and teen girls. The goal was to form a “theology of woman” by looking chronologically at all of the major portions of Scripture regarding women and womanhood. What does the Bible say are the roles, duties, challenges, and opportunities that we have as women?

 

Elisabeth Elliot, a well-known Christian speaker and author said, “It would help younger women to know there are a few listening ears when they don’t know what to do with an uncommunicative husband, a 25-pound turkey, or a two-year old’s tantrum.”¹

Titus 2 is Scripture’s manual for women in regard to how they are to live and train one another. Dealing with silent husbands, huge turkeys and disobedient children are simply examples of the types of material to be taught.  Elisabeth Elliot goes on to say,

“He meant the simple things, the everyday example, the willingness to take time from one’s own concerns to pray with the anxious mother, to walk with her the way of the cross—with its tremendous demands of patience, selflessness, lovingkindness—and to show her, in the ordinariness of Monday through Saturday, how to keep a quiet heart.

“These lessons will come perhaps most convincingly through rocking a baby, doing some mending, cooking a supper, or cleaning a refrigerator. Through such an example, one young woman—single or married, Christian or not—may glimpse the mystery of charity and the glory of womanhood.”²

All women should see the importance of this kind of discipleship and being discipled in this way. As we study Scripture’s commands in Titus 2, we will see that grace teaches us to live godly lives and to encourage others to do the same.

The Way to Live

 “To the pure, all things are pure, but to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure; but both their minds and their consciences are defiled. They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work. But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine” (Titus 1:15-2:1, ESV).         

Paul begins Titus 2 with a contrast, “But as for you.” He contrasts Titus with the false teachers of chapter 1 who professed to know God, but denied him by their works (Titus 1:16). In contrast to those false teachers, Titus was to teach believers to live in a way that “accords with sound doctrine” (Titus 2:1). The point was that they were to live like the Gospel had changed their lives.

Paul addresses several different groups throughout Titus 2. Each of these groups is to live in a way that accords with sound doctrine. Specifically, they are commanded to live in a way. . .

• That “the word of God may not be reviled” (v 5).
• That an opponent would have “nothing evil to say about us” (v 8).
• That “in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior” (v 10).

We, also, are to live like the Gospel has changed our lives. If we do not, we also profess to know God, but deny him by our works.

The Women who Live it 

Two of the groups Paul addresses in Titus 2 are older women and younger women.

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled” (Titus 2:3-5). 

Older Women 

Paul does not specify an age for what he considers to be an older woman. However, he is primarily referring to women whose main responsibility is no longer their children. We could then generalize that an older woman is a woman whose children are independent of her and her husband.

Older women are described in three ways: 

1. Reverent in their behavior 

The term reverent means “pertaining to being devoted to a proper expression of religious beliefs.”³ They are women who are devoted to serving God. They revere God in their behavior.

2. Not slanderers 

Women who are devoted to God must be careful to control their tongues. They should not spread malicious gossip and lies.

3. Not slaves to much wine 

Women devoted to God must also control their physical appetites. This verse specifically refers to not being addicted to alcohol.

Older women are commanded to do two things: 

1. They are to teach what is good. 

The phrase teach what is good is actually one word in the Greek. Her teaching and the content of it—goodness—go hand-in hand. Older women are to teach what is good by word and example. The value of the older women’s good teaching depends on their moral character.

2. They are to train the younger women. 

The  word train means “to instruct in prudence or behavior that is becoming and shows good judgment, encourage, advise, urge.”⁴

Older women must first have the character of one devoted to God. Then, they are to disciple younger women. Although this may occasionally happen in a formal discipleship program, most likely effective, practical training will flourish in an informal, one-on-one manner. In whatever venue, Scripture mandates that all godly, older women are to mentor younger women.

Younger Women 

Paul refers primarily here to younger wives, as four of the seven qualities he lists refer to marriage or family. However, it seems wise for even young girls, teens, and single women to begin learning now how to be a good wife and mother. Any married woman will tell you that marriage and mothering take time, effort, and training to be done well. Mothers of daughters have a unique opportunity to train their daughters how to be godly women. Regardless of whether marriage is in view (as God does not call everyone to marriage), older godly women can teach and encourage godly character at the very least.           

Younger women are to learn (from the older women) seven things: 

1. To love their husbands 

Remember that Paul wrote to a culture in which women did not usually choose their husbands. Their husbands were chosen for them. They had to learn to biblically love their husbands.

Today our culture emphasizes “falling in love.” So, what happens if we “fall out of love” after we’re married? We learn to biblically love our husbands. We choose his best for God’s glory.

2. To love their children 

Nearly every mother has a natural love for her children. But sometimes it is necessary for us to choose to love our children when they make us want to react unlovingly. Loving our children is a task that is multi-faceted, including meeting their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.

J.C. Ryle, a minister in the late 19^th century, reminds us of the priority of meeting the needs of our children’s souls:

“Precious, no doubt, are these little ones in your eyes; but if you love them, think often of their souls.  No interest should weigh with you so much as their eternal interests.  No part of them should be so dear to you as that part which will never die. . . .  This is the thought that should be uppermost on your mind in all you do for your children.  In every step you take about them, in every plan, and scheme, and arrangement that concerns them, do not leave out that mighty question, ‘How will this affect their souls?’

“Soul love is the soul of all love.  To pet and pamper and indulge your child, as if this world was all he had to look to, and this life the only season for happiness — to do this is not true love, but cruelty. . . . It is hiding from him that grand truth, which he ought to be made to learn from his very infancy, — that the chief end of his life is the salvation of his soul.”⁵

3. To be self-controlled 

“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls” (Proverbs 25:28).

Self-control is an easily-understood concept, but difficult to implement. It includes controlling our speech, appetites (i.e., sex, eating, sleeping, etc.), thoughts, feelings, habits, and actions. Self-control is possible through God’s grace and some hard work.

4. To be pure 

Purity can apply to our thoughts (Phil 4:8), speech (Eph 5:4), and conduct (1 Pet 3:2). Women must maintain a pure thought life by guarding the things they read, watch, and do. Women must guard their speech, speaking only what is pure. Women must also have a biblical view of sex within marriage, understanding that it surely is a pure thing in the sight of God (Heb 13:4). 

5. To be working at home 

The phrase working at home means exactly what it says: “busy at home, carrying out household duties.”⁶ She is to be a hard worker. Her home duties are her primary responsibility (whether or not she additionally works outside of the home and/or has children). She should not be a lazy wife, refusing to take care of or just neglecting the duties of her home.

6. To be kind 

The basic meaning of kind is “good.” While performing all the duties that being a wife and mother demand, we must never forget to be kind.

Jerry Bridges, a Christian author, defines kindness as “a sincere desire for the happiness of others.”⁷  He defines goodness as “the activity calculated to advance that happiness.”⁸

7. To be submissive to their own husbands 

Submission to one’s husband is an ever-present battle. Older women must be sure to be teaching the younger women first by their own example. This is often a key method of teaching. But gentle exhortation by a loved and loving older woman may be appropriate as well.

We’ve seen the way to live and the women who are to live this way. Paul concludes the chapter with a theological reason behind why we live this way.

Why we Live it 

“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works” (Titus 2:11-14).

After specifically addressing older men, younger men, older women, and younger women, Paul gives all of them the reasons behind his commands: “For the grace of God has appeared. . .” This grace does two things in this passage:

1. Grace brings us salvation (v 11)
2. Grace trains us to live godly lives (v 12)

“It is God’s grace that not only brought salvation but also teaches that the necessary outcome of salvation is to deny that which is ungodly and to pursue that which is godly. But not only does grace teach this; it is within the very purpose of the atonement not only to redeem but also to cleanse. This is not righteousness by works; it is the message of grace, the full message of grace that redeems and sanctifies.”⁹

Older women have a great task and privilege before them. They have lived (and learned) through their younger years and passed on into their older ones. They should better than ever now model godly behavior and train younger women to do the same.

Younger women should be teachable and open to discipleship. They should be humble and eager to receive godly counsel.

Above all, both older women and younger women are to remember we live godly lives and teach others to do the same because God in His grace has saved us and graciously teaches us to live like He has saved us.

—

Holly Huffstutler serves with her husband David, the pastor of First Baptist Church in Rockford, IL. She blogs with him here where this post first appeared. Holly is a homemaker, raising and schooling her four children.

Image by Mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

1. Elisabeth Elliot, “A Woman’s Mandate,” from Family Practice, ed. R.C. Sproul, Jr. (Phillipsburg, N.J.: P&R Publishing, 2001), p. 62. [↩]
2. Ibid. [↩]
3. Johannes P. Louw and Eugene Albert Nida, Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament: Based on Semantic Domains (New York: United Bible Societies, 1996), 531. [↩]
4. William Arndt et al.,  A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2000), 986. [↩]
5. J. C. Ryle, The Duties of Parents (West Linn, OR: Monergism Books, 2019), 13. [↩]
6. Arndt, 700. [↩]
7. Jerry Bridges, The Practice of Godliness (Colorado Springs: Navpress), 189. [↩]
8. Ibid. [↩]
9. William D. Mounce, Pastoral Epistles, vol. 46 of Word Biblical Commentary (Dallas: Word, Incorporated, 2000), 433–434. [↩]