Serious Children’s Ministry
Let’s imagine we took children seriously. What would that look like?
To be serious-minded regarding our children would be to fully understand their nature and their destiny. A clear-headed approach to children recognises that these are image-bearers, responsible and accountable to their Creator. As small, cute, and amusing as they may be, they are immortals, who will one day live forever in bliss with God or in torment separated from Him.
Taking children seriously understands that though children are in development, Hell is not less serious for them, God’s majesty is not less glorious for them, and the moral consequences of their lives are not less serious. That some of them may be under five feet tall does not mean their existence is comical, or “sweet” (whatever that may mean).
So, let’s imagine trying to minister to these people. How should we go about it?
Here’s how modern evangelicals suggest we take children seriously:
First, the teachers in children’s ministry should adopt comedic, clown-around personas, because that will help communicate how serious the gospel is. They should see themselves as cheerleaders and birthday-party hosts: plenty of cheering, shouting, joking and goofiness. These are always reserved for serious events containing serious messages.
Second, for serious ministry to children, we need plenty of fun themes. Detectives, cowboys, knights, explorers, superheroes, spies – even ghost and horror themes are welcome! Serious messages need to be illustrated with the characters and stories that children associate with cartoons, movies, television, YouTube, and console games, because these are the media known for their sobriety.
Third, since we are taking children and their fate so seriously, we must make sure we play plenty of games. In fact, it is best if game-time makes up the majority of our ministry time. We know that the Apostle Paul, when entering a city to evangelize, always began his ministry by bringing plenty of balls, hoops, hockey sticks and three-legged-race bands to the synagogue. Most of the early converts were won to Christ using balloons. When most in earnest, people play trivial games, so make sure you saturate your children’s ministry with these.
Fourth, don’t forget sweets. As you know, most serious treaties struck between nations are signed over a bowl of gummy worms, and the highest courts make sure there are plates of Smarties and M&Ms for the magistrates and attorneys. On achieving a doctorate, the chancellor gives the graduate a lollipop, and all police stations have bowls of crisps and candy for those reporting serious crimes. So, serious Christians, bring on the sweets – that most serious and nutritious of foods! To show the importance of spiritual matters, make sure you link your candy to Christianity. Gummy worms = the serpent in the Garden. Chocolate whispers = the stones David used in his sling. Marshmallow fish = Jonah’s whale. Fruit flavours = the fruit of the Spirit. Yes, let not the cringe you feel at your own corniness hold you back. Souls are at stake.
Finally, nothing communicates moods like music. And since we want our children to fear the Lord, we need music that communicates this seriousness. Therefore, the appropriate music for children is always zany, comedic, and rambunctious. Yes, when we’re serious about worship, we do spiritual aerobics, giggle, and gyrate. Please, none of those hymns which teach God’s attributes, or our need of the gospel, or the work of Christ – no, they’re not serious enough. We need “Jesus is My Superhero” and “I’m Gonna Zoom Around the Room and Praise the Lord”. If you can sing your children’s music in church, you’re doing it wrong. Children’s worship must be of a totally different character – so make sure you teach them that in your children’s ministries.
If you follow these steps, as your children turn into teens and young adults, they will take you and your church very seriously. They will regard the Bible and its message as profoundly important. Above all, because of your thoughtful approach, they will value their own souls, their eternal destinies, and the glory of God with the deep sobriety that Scripture calls for.
Editor’s note: David’s tone in this post is satirical, and prompted some reaction on his own blog, from which this is taken. David added the following response to give some sobriety to his remarks. Serious thoughts on a serious topic!
To anticipate the chorus of complaints that children’s ministry needs sweets, games, and silliness, let me make my own provisos.
Children’s ministry is not to be harsh or severe. It’s a sign of our confused and polarized times that we cannot imagine the happy middle between silliness and severity.
Therefore, can we give children sweets as a reward for concentration? Should we not play some games to break the ice? Can we not sing simpler songs? Indeed, we should try to smooth the way for those with little familiarity towards the gospel.
The wise can discern between a pragmatic method, and a dominant pragmatic philosophy. One is like the rabbi who gave his child a scoop of honey before reading Psalm 119. The other is a Finneyite who is ashamed of the gospel and wants to disguise it in the rags of entertainment.
This post first appeared on Churches Without Chests, the personal blog of David de Bruyn, who is the pastor of New Covenant Baptist Church in Johannesburg, South Africa. We republish it here by permission.