The Missing Gospel at Funeral Services
Several years ago I wrote an article for P&D about the ministry of funerals for unbelievers. In this article I would like to focus on a growing, and disturbing, tendency at funerals.
Our small town (population ~18,000) has three funeral homes. Over the thirty years my wife and I have lived here I have officiated funerals at all three funeral homes. At one funeral home in particular I have officiated almost 100 funerals, mainly for families who do not go to church but would like a pastor to speak at the funeral. This funeral home calls me to offer first option to officiate those funerals. I also help this funeral home occasionally when they are particularly busy and need supplementary help. I have also, of course, attended many funerals in a nonparticipating capacity.
I have observed the increasing tendency of pastors, who say they believe the Bible and the gospel, to not clearly give the gospel, even at funerals when the person who died was a believer. At funerals where the deceased was unsaved and most of the family are unsaved, I tactfully integrate certain truths of the gospel into the message to get people to consider what they never think about. Quite frankly, most funeral messages I listen to are boring and predictable. I try to give people what they are not expecting, something relevant, challenging, and at times humorous. But I always use Bible verses and highlight the gospel. Yet many ministers do not do this.
At one funeral for a 16-year-old boy who committed suicide the youth pastor did not read a single Bible verse, even though the funeral was held at the family’s large church. He briefly mentioned Jesus, faith, and baptism but never explained why Jesus was so important. He missed a tremendous opportunity to give the gospel to over 400 people, many of whom were teenagers looking for answers to their grief. There was nothing wrong with what he said. In fact, at times, what he said was particularly good. The problem was what he did not say.
At many funerals the officiating minister, even when I know that minister believes the Bible, speaks as if everyone in the room is going to heaven, when it is obvious listening to the crowd’s conversation that many of them are unsaved. Yet, at the end of that funeral, they have gotten the impression from the minister that they will be in heaven and Jesus Christ isn’t really part of getting there. I expect this from theologically liberal pastors. I am shocked to see this from pastors who say they believe the Bible.
Why are so many pastors not clearly giving the gospel at funerals, even when that funeral is held in a church? Do they believe they are being tolerant or respectful? Have they been influenced by our secular culture to the point where not mentioning the gospel is the “loving thing to do”? Perhaps some of the pastors do not believe the Bible as we assume they do. I’m not sure. But many pastors are wasting God-given opportunities to clearly give the gospel to people who need creative, and perhaps unexpected, exposure to what they need to hear. Many people who go to funerals expect to be bored by pastors who, to them, are irrelevant. Why not surprise them by giving them the gospel and challenging their comfortable lives at a time when they are faced with the realities of life?
Wally Morris is the former pastor of Charity Baptist Church in Huntington, IN. He has also published A Time To Die: A Biblical Look At End-Of-Life Issues by Ambassador International.