In the last few years, a movement has arisen among young men as a reaction to the emasculating influence of  feminism upon men world-wide. The backlash against the anti-masculinity movement has produced sexually promiscuous online influences like Andrew Tate. These have become the darlings of many in the conservative movement—and many of the young men in your church and school.

The term toxic masculinity entered common usage but has varying definitions. As an article by Michael Salter in The Atlantic in 2019, states, there are problems with the term.

A predictable conflict has accompanied the term’s rise. Many conservatives allege that charges of toxic masculinity are an attack on manhood itself, at a time when men already face challenges such as higher rates of drug overdose and suicide. 

Rather than being a term that identified a certain kind of masculinity, it was taken by some to identify all masculinity as toxic. WebMD identifies these six traits as identifying characteristics of toxic masculinity. These typify the general definitions elsewhere.  This definition is more mainstream.  The following are the WebMD traits and the site’s explanations of the traits.

1. Toxic masculinity teaches men that homosexuality is a deviation from traditional masculinity and that gay men are less masculine. For example, consider the way terms like “gay” and “f_____t” were and still are used as insults.

2. Need for control. Toxic masculinity encourages men to assert their power and dominance. We see this often in domestic relationships. The 2017 report “The Man Box” found that 34% of men in the U.S. believed they should always have the final say in their relationship, and 46% believed that men deserved to know where their girlfriend or wife is at all times.

3. Toxic masculinity praises men for having multiple sexual partners while expressing disgust at women who do the same.

4. Refusing to help with household duties. Toxic masculinity rejects roles traditionally considered “women’s work.” Toxically masculine men often refuse to participate in these household duties. “The Man Box” found that 22% of U.S. men believed they shouldn’t have to do household chores, 44% believed they should be the sole income earners, and 28% believed that boys shouldn’t be taught things like cooking, cleaning, and child care.

5. Risk-taking. Taking risks and suppressing fear is another feature of toxic masculinity. As a result, men are more likely to abuse drugs, drive dangerously, gamble, and engage in violence.

6. Sexual aggression toward women. Men who have been influenced by toxic masculinity are more likely to believe they’re entitled to women’s bodies, leading to sexual comments and harassment toward women and a higher likelihood of believing rape myths.

7. A cornerstone idea of toxic masculinity is that showing emotion is weak and feminine. Men are expected to be mentally and physically tough without breaking. Statistics and studies show that men are less likely to pursue mental health services like therapy despite being 1.8 times more likely than women to commit suicide.

8. Toxic masculinity encourages men to use aggression and violence to assert their dominance and masculinity. “The Man Box” report found that 23% of U.S. men believed that, if needed, men should use violence to get respect.

 Andrew Tate and others like him seem to wear these characteristics as badges of honor—all of them. I cannot link the Andrew Tate videos because of the vulgarity and sexual content, but be sure that there are young men in your church and school who are fans. Following him is dangerous for a young Christian man.

However, there are problems with the other side as well. Let’s consider each point of the WebMD article from a biblical perspective.

Homophobia.

There can be no misunderstanding that homosexuality is sin, and one among many types of sexual sins mentioned in scripture. In fact, Romans 1:27 says clearly that this behavior is a violation of nature. Therefore it makes sense that many men, most men, would find the idea of homosexual behavior repulsive. To try to make men feel guilty, or wrong for this reaction that has been built into them biologically will unavoidably produce pushback.

Need for control.

The idea of husbands and fathers leading within the home is also built into humanity from creation. It is clearly established in the roles of husbands and wives in Ephesians 5. This does not mean that husbands should exert selfish control. The biblical model of leadership is servant leadership, self-sacrificing leadership, leadership that looks out for the best interests of others above self. Wives do submit themselves to their husbands in marriage, but husbands submit themselves to their wives as well.

The idea that a husband has a right to know where his wife is at any given time is not outrageous, just as it is not outrageous for a wife to know where her husband is at any given time. That’s the way married people function. It is not an occasional partnership, but two people becoming one (1 Corinthians 7:4). Biblical leadership must never be considered a cover for abuse and the Bible clearly condemns spouse abuse (Colossians 3:19, 1 Corinthians 5:11 “reviler, railer”)

Promiscuity.

The Bible is very clear on this one. There is no biblical place for promiscuity, with men or with women. Pagan culture has often allowed for more promiscuity among men than women because men had less risk than women. Women always faced the potential of pregnancy while men could easily deny paternity. With modern technology, men no longer have an easy way out of responsibility for their actions. The women’s liberation movement of the 1960s did not want men to be less promiscuous, it sought the same opportunity for women to be promiscuous without consequence. Both reactions are a violation of biblical morals. Promiscuity is not biblically acceptable for men or women.

Refusing to help with household duties.

This one is a red herring. The real objection is men as sole wage earners and women as stay-at-home moms. Neither format truly reflects biblical reality. In the last 150 years, we have transformed from an agrarian society to an urban society. On the family farm, everyone participated in the work. The home was work and work was home. Family members did what they did best. Wives had babies, nursed children, took care of small children, and gladly worked inside the house where they could do both more effectively. They also worked in the garden, drove tractors, and did many other tasks necessary for the family the prosper. Since generally men were physically stronger than women, they focused on the more strength-demanding tasks around the farm. No one struggled with understanding who should fill what role—it was apparent.

In our present circumstances, with many women and men both working outside the home, it makes sense for household responsibilities to be shared by married couples. However, the care of small children and being a keeper at home still is a biblically necessary role for women—and an extremely important one. Men and women should be able to work out their own family responsibilities within the guidelines of scripture without women feeling guilty if they choose not to work outside of the home.

Risk-taking.

Risk-taking is built into the young man’s psyche. This is not a toxic cultural construct, it is a biological reality. The brains of young men do not develop in the same way that those of young women do. Young men long for adventure, there is nothing wrong with seeking it within reason. This is why fathers are so essential in the development of young men. They can guide them, reason with them, and lead them in that pursuit of adventure that young men desire. For believers, this longing not only for adventure but also for significance can manifest in entering into spiritual warfare 2 Timothy 2:2-5. Risk-taking is not evil, it just must be biblically directed.

Sexual aggression towards women.

This is never condoned in scripture and rape was a capital offense (Deuteronomy 23:25-27). The biblical portrayal of the sexual relationship in the Song of Solomon is deep, passionate, and respectful.

Stoicism.

Men are different than women emotionally. It is true that they are less willing to pursue help. Part of the problem is that our culture does not teach men how to seek help and encouragement from other men. Mutual confrontation and encouragement is a biblical mandate (Galatians 6:1-4). This passage teaches a healthy balance between mutual dependence and individual responsibility.

Violence.

Again, this criticism of toxic masculinity contains mixed messages. Men have testosterone flowing through their bodies. God put it there. Physical, even aggressive, assertions of strength are essential for boys. That is why they thrive in sports and really rough sports like rugby and football are especially attractive. They love to test themselves against one another—who is the strongest, fastest, etc. The Olympic Games are built on this premise. Healthy young men are aggressive. They must be taught to control that aggression. This aggression is useful in a young man’s role as a protector (Psalm 144:1)

There is a biblical balance to the gender wars that are raging in our world today. Logically, it makes sense. God created the genders, he also wrote a guidebook on what the proper role of those genders should be. We must look to Him as our guide, not the fleeting exaggerations and extremes of our culture.

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