“Concerning Christ and the church”
Last month, I officiated at an outdoor wedding. Whenever a couple tells me they are planning to be married outside, I always tell them they have to have a “plan B.” No one wants to be a part of a wedding ceremony held in a driving rainstorm. This couple did have a back-up plan, but it was not needed. Although it was October, the weather was sunny and summer-like. The day could not have been nicer.
Surrounded by family and friends, the young couple stood before me under a cathedral of red and gold autumn leaves. I took a few minutes early in the ceremony, as I do each time I officiate a wedding, to give a marital charge. This is a brief sermon about marriage and married life. I read from the Bible, gave some important principles about family living, and shared the gospel of Jesus Christ. However, I am quite certain that very little attention was given to what I said. This is not intended as a negative criticism of either the couple being married or those who were invited as guests. Rather, it is a simple observation about nearly all weddings.
Many times, I have heard people say that God used a funeral to change their life. Funerals confront people with the brevity of life, or force them think seriously about what happens after death. People have trusted Christ, determined to live differently, or renewed commitments to their family at a funeral. But I have never heard of anyone attending a wedding and afterward testifying that it impacted their life. People who attend weddings focus on the bride, the bridesmaids, the dresses, the flowers, the flower girl, the music, etc. They applaud the kiss and the presentation of the newly married couple. Even with a marital charge in the ceremony, little thought is given to the profound spiritual reality that marriage illustrates.
Ephesians 5 describes the influence faith in Christ should have on relationships. Regarding the marriage relationship, Paul wrote, “I speak concerning Christ and the church.” (Eph. 5:32) God ordained marriage for companionship, for procreation, but also to depict the eternal covenantal love relationship that exists between Christ and the church. Not just the wedding ceremony, but the whole life-long marriage relationship between a man and his wife is supposed to illustrate Jesus Christ and those who trust in Him. Wives are to honor their husbands and support them “as unto the Lord.” (Eph. 5:22) Husbands are to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.” (Eph. 5:25) Marital love is not to be based on getting but giving. It is not about being served but serving. It is to be spontaneous, unselfish, sacrificial. This is what Christ demonstrated when He became our substitute and died on the cross for the sins of the world. This is what we are to portray, by God’s grace, in our married life.
Occasionally I have heard a dramatic sermon illustration and wondered if indeed it was a true story. There is nothing wrong with a preacher telling a fanciful story to illustrate a point or principle – so long as the story is not presented as being true.
I once heard an illustration in a sermon about marriage that I found particularly stirring, so I did a little research. I discovered that the moving incident the preacher mentioned actually happened.
On September 1, 1919 William and Mary Tanner of Chicago were walking home from an evening out. As they crossed some railroad tracks, Mary’s foot slipped. It became wedged between the track and a wooden crosswalk. A train was approaching fast. She tried frantically to pull her foot loose. Her husband’s efforts to help were in vain. As the train came within a few yards, its brakes screeching, witnesses told how Mary urged her husband to get away to safety. Instead, he wrapped his arms around his wife. Shocked witnesses heard him say just before the train struck and killed them both, “I’ll stay with you, Mary.”
No flowers, white dress, diamond ring, or kiss could possibly paint as vividly or as accurately a picture of marital love as this incident. William Tanner loved his wife as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it.
David A. Oliver is the pastor of Ashley Baptist Church in Belding, MI.
Photo of Good Shepherd statue from PxHere, photo of German country church by David Mark from Pixabay
I’ve been touched at weddings and reminded of my own wedding vows. And I wanted a clear gospel message at my own wedding for unsaved family members. But you’re right, people aren’t in quite the frame of mind for a sermon or instruction at weddings. Maybe this is an illustration of what Ecclesiastes says: “It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart” (7:2).
Usually the bride and groom have been instructed about these things beforehand. I think the whole wedding party is so nervous about being in front of everyone and hoping that everything goes ok that they probably can’t pay attention as well. It might be a really nice gift to print out the charge on a piece of parchment or cardstock for them to frame or put in their wedding book and look back at on calmer days and anniversaries. Maybe a note could be included, something like, “I know you had a lot going on during the wedding ceremony, but I wanted you to have this to remember and ponder in the days and years ahead.”