Three Keys to Self-Control from Proverbs
In a world out of control, we need self-control! In consideration of this subject, let’s first look at two key texts to guide our thinking regarding self-control.
Proverbs 16:32; He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
The one who rules his spirit is better than a military hero. Self-control is a great demonstration of human strength. This is who we aspire to be.
Proverbs 25:28; He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
The one without self-control is like a city with broken walls. This city is not only unsightly, but defenseless, unsafe and in great danger. This is who we dread to be.
In this brief article, let’s look at a definition of self-control, the danger of a lack of self-control, and three key words to help us develop self-control.
Self-control can be defined as the grace to recognize and choose the holy over the unholy, the right over the wrong, and the important over the urgent so that our heart loves are properly ordered. Christian self-control leads to the obedience of Christ and the glory of God. It is a fruit of the Spirit (Gal.5:23) and a Christ-like character trait in Peter’s list of godly character (2 Pet.1:6).
A lack of self-control can lead to a multitude of dangers leading to addictions. People often turn to addiction to relieve distress from some pressure. But in “relieving pressure” they create greater distress. Addicts often seek to cure the additional pain with the thing that caused it. At the heart of the addiction is a person needs more and more to get less and less and they go down and down.
What do you look for to relieve pressure? People turn to things like gambling, sex, binge eating, anger, cigarettes, worry, drugs, alcohol, bitterness, cursing, money and even work. Addiction is something that promises to relieve stress, yet addictions then create their own distress. The use of the substance creates pain on top of the original pain that a person was using the substance to escape.
So how can one develop self-control? I like to put it in three simple three letter words. The first word is, RUN!
Prov.18:10; The name of the LORD is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe.
Everyone runs to something for their security. One with self-control runs to God and His Name, which is a revelation of His character, who He really is. Run decisively, desperately, quickly, and urgently to God. Don’t be sidetracked or delayed. Lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily besets you and run, looking unto Jesus! He is a storehouse of provision and a place of strength. The translators put “is set aloft” in the marginal note as an alternate translation for “is safe” in Proverbs 18:10. The Lord is a strong tower and puts you high and out of the reach of your enemy. The strength to develop self-control is not in you but in Christ who will strengthen you (Phil.4:13). Forcefully tell yourself who God really is and run to Him. When you have a need, run to God your Jehovah Jireh who provides. When you feel alone, run to God your Jehovah Shammah, who is there. When you are anxious run to God your Jehovah Shalom who gives peace. Tell yourself about His sovereignty, His mercy, His love. In Christ you are forever saved, forgiven, and loved by His infinite grace.
A second three letter word to develop self-control is BUY!
Prov.23:23; Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding (see also Proverbs 4:5).
For those who love to buy low and sell high and see themselves as great traders, realize that you can buy the truth, wisdom, instruction, and understanding, all at a bargain price. These valuable spiritual commodities cost you nothing and will give you great return. Even when there is a bull market and stock prices surge the price of wisdom is always available free for those who want it. Through a lack of self-control, many have gone from riches to rags like the Prodigal Son. Through wisdom you can go from rags to spiritual riches, for wisdom is better than gold. Buy the truth and wisdom and never sell it! Wisdom gives you the skill to apply the truth of God to your life rather than fall into destructive, addictive behavior.
A third word to develop self-control is WOW, which I get from Proverbs 30:4:
Who hath ascended up into heaven, or descended? who hath gathered the wind in his fists? who hath bound the waters in a garment? who hath established all the ends of the earth? what is his name, and what is his son’s name, if thou canst tell?
The first time and every time I read this verse, I am wowed. Who could possibly do all these things? No one except Jesus! He is the one being revealed hundreds of years before His birth. He descended from heaven, spoke to the raging waves to be still, walked on water, and established the ends of the earth. Despite His great power, He went to the cross to die for the sins of the world. The greatest act of self-control in all of world history was the cross. Why? Because He could have called it off at any time. But He didn’t because He loved us with everlasting love. His love to die on the cross and rise again is the ultimate WOW. His love should create such admiration in us that we deny ourselves and take our cross to follow Him. Knowing His love and grace is the greatest motivation for holy living, and now that we also have His Spirit in us, we have the greatest power for holy living. Wow! Buy! Run! And you will develop self-control and be better than the mighty.
Matt Recker is the pastor of Heritage Baptist Church in New York City.