Gender Expectations and the Bible

A former church member posted this on Facebook recently.

“Shout out to my mom for letting me go through my tomboy phase without changing my gender.”

There is so much packed into that statement that gives us insight into the gender confusion issue of our age. Let’s unpack for a moment.

There are unrealistic expectations for gender conformity.

The comic-book caricature of masculinity and the Barbie caricature of femininity have dominated the thinking of our young people. More than one young woman has assumed that it would be easier to be a boy because she believes she will never be the idealistic overly sexualized version of femininity that our culture—and especially the Hollywood version of it–has espoused.

It’s the same for boys. Unless you are halfway to an Arnold Schwarzenegger physique, you might as well be a girl. This unrealistic idealization of the human body is the product of Hollywood and the comic book industry and it is wrong. It is an unrealistic and unbiblical presentation of what men and women should be.

People are different, even within the genders.

Why can’t girls be tomboys without having their gender identity questioned? Boys should be able to express their God-given artistic ability without being accused of being gay. After all, the Proverbs 31 woman was a farmer and seemed to function admirably in the business world, buying and selling real estate. David, a man of war, was also the Sweet Psalmist of Israel. Boxing people up based upon gender generalizations is Satan’s lie, intended to make people feel uncomfortable with the way that God made them.

We have become completely self-obsessed.

It is hard to imagine that 150 years ago people contemplated their own sexual identity very much. They were too busy working. They did not have time to click through Tick Tock clips even if the technology had been available. Even school in those days occurred haphazardly as children worked to squeeze it between the various responsibilities of the growing season on the farm.

There is no greater evidence of this than in the gender confusion today. The frustration that most people—not necessarily even people of faith—have with this gender-fluid culture is that it keeps changing—sometimes daily. Even if you wanted to please it seems impossible because the demands keep changing. That is because it is based upon feelings, and feelings are always changing.

One new gender identity that popped up recently is the “cake gender.” Some say they use this designation because they have “different layers” others say it describes the way they feel about themselves—light, fluffy, and sweet.

These designations are not about sex or gender, but about how a person feels about themselves. This surrender to emotions as a definition of self is dangerous. My feelings are arbitrary, malleable, and often something that would be best overcome. My feelings are not who I am. If they are, I am in deep trouble. One pastor I know said that he does not feel like a Christian until he gets his first cup of coffee in the morning!

At best, our emotions help to determine our personality, and while that often is a deep-seated aspect of who I am, even my personality can develop and grow.

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. (Psalm 139:14)

There is a biblical precedent for being content with who God made me while striving to become the best of what God has called me to be in Christ.

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:12-14)

Ah, but there is the difference. I know that there is an all-knowing, all-wise, all-loving God who created me according to His will. I find comfort and purpose in that.

Without Him, there is confusion.