Does a Genuine Christian Marriage have to be Legal?

“It’s just a piece of paper.”

Is it really?

A young couple celebrates a wonderful Christian wedding with their church family, many friends, and relatives attending. However, when it is time to sign the marriage license the young couple realizes that in the whirlwind of activities leading up to the wedding, they forgot to go to their appointment at the justice of the peace to get the marriage license. For most couples, this is just a formality that could be resolved easily after the honeymoon. But this bride’s father (and the groom’s father too) demand that she goes home with the family rather than depart for a honeymoon. The couple has to wait until the courthouse errand was accomplished, and all the legalities are settled before they can go away on their honeymoon.

Let’s consider another scenario.

A young woman runs away from home to marry a man that she met on the internet. She agrees to marry him. He claims to be a Christian and his father claims to be a Christian minister. The marriage ceremony occurs and soon a baby is on the way. However, the marriage turns out to be a difficult one. The young husband becomes physically abusive.

The young woman finally calls her father to ask for help getting away from the abusive situation. When her father arrives, he finds that while the young couple had made their vows before a minister (the young man’s father), neither the groom nor the minister had gotten a marriage license because the young man had outstanding arrest warrants and did not want to show his face at the courthouse.

The girl’s father and their pastor both agreed that the young woman was not biblically or legally married to the young man. She had been the subject of fraud and had been deceived into thinking that she was actually married. No annulment was necessary because no legal marriage had occurred, and she owed no moral obligations to the marriage before God because she was the subject of deception.

Both of these situations are true stories. Both seem odd to the person who does not approach marriage from a biblical point of view. The primary question is how the civil and biblical aspects of the marriage union intersect in true Christian marriage.

All biblical marriages must be legal marriages.

In both of the cases above, the marriages were not considered true biblical marriages (even though vows had been made) because they were not legal marriages. Marriage from Old Testament times has always been considered a legal contract. While the ancients did not typically use pieces of paper as evidence of agreements made, they did use rituals—such as a marriage ritual—to legally seal decisions publicly. Biblical marriage was a legally binding contract.

Deuteronomy 24:1’s wording about “taking a wife” uses this type of language. The marriage agreement was considered among the most binding of all agreements and certification of divorce was necessary to undo it.

God commanded human governments to exist for the very purpose of protecting the weak and vulnerable and such was the condition of a woman independent of the protections of a husband in the ancient world. (Exodus 22:22)

Because marriage is treated by Jesus as an irrevocable union (Matthew 19:6), avoiding a binding legal commitment violates this principle in spirit as well as in letter. Some states have gone so far as to institute the idea of a covenant marriage specifically to honor the biblical concept of a binding union. It is more difficult to dissolve than a typical marriage.

Not all legal marriages are biblical marriages.

However, just because all biblical marriages must be legal, it does not follow that all legal marriages are biblical. The Bible establishes in Genesis 1 and 2 the proper subjects in the marriage relationship. Marriage is between one man and one woman. God did not invent or allow same-sex marriage. For that matter, God did not create bigamous marriages either.

Legal marriages vary greatly depending on the circumstances.

One problem with American Christians is that we often see biblical marriage through our own legal context. It is not the same around the world. Christians in Eastern European countries often hold both civil and religious ceremonies before marriage is considered complete. Some African countries like Kenya have two types of marriage—tribal and Christian—with two sets of laws applied to each. Christians in those countries see both types of marriage as legally binding, but once they become Christians they usually convert their tribal marriages to Christian marriages—complete with an additional wedding ceremony—so that they are subject to marriage laws that better reflect biblical values.

The local legal situations vary and yet apply.

There is a theoretical exception.

If there were a special situation in which it would not be biblically possible to qualify for a legal marriage, then a marriage could be sanctioned by the church even if not by local authorities. For instance, if an oath to a false god were required for a marriage license, then the principle of obeying the higher power would apply (Acts 5:29). It is not reasonable to think that God would forbid marriage altogether for His people who are faithful to his Name. However, this would have to be a matter of biblical obedience, not just personal or financial convenience. With all the confusion surrounding marriage in today’s culture, some might consider it desirable to eliminate all state licensure or recognition of marriage completely. With no legal marriage available, biblical marriage could still be sanctioned by churches.

The primary problem today is that people think they can live together without being married and still be good Christians. They cannot.

It is not just a piece of paper.

Many people populating the pews or leadership of churches today are living together like they are married, but they are not married. They are not married in the eyes of the state or in the eyes of God. Such people are living in sin and need to repent and do what is necessary to live in obedience. Honoring the morals of the marriage contract is one of the foundations of Christian ethics. This would include refraining from sexual relationships prior to marriage and also remaining faithful during marriage.

This is an issue that matters to God. He has clearly said so.