BEST FRIENDS FOREVER

Today is crash day for me. It’s 2:00 PM and I’m still sitting on the couch in my pjs. Adam and Megan went to the studio with Ella while I stayed behind with Hamilton, for him to take a nap. I made no protests. I’ve already had two naps myself today.

Now that Hamilton is sleeping, all is quiet around me. My mind is reminiscing about Ron’s and my life together. It is a lovely thing to do.

Early on in our marriage, I remember Ron telling me that Ken Collier was his best friend. Ron and Ken worked together for many years on the Patch adventure stories. They would call each other back and forth while putting together song theme ideas, character name ideas, and story plot ideas.

Ron would drive up to The Wilds where Ken worked and lived. The two of them sat down together and collaborated all things Patch the Pirate adventure. Ron took copious notes on yellow legal pads. Ron would then come back home, sit down somewhere quietly for about a week, and write the story’s first draft. Mind you—Ron wrote every story and song lyric on yellow legal pads.

After he completed this first draft, he would fax the yellow pages to Ken. After Ken read it, he would call Ron with tweaks he thought helpful. Ron would also give me this first draft and I wrote my thoughts and suggestions in the yellow margins. (You might remember the first yellow cassettes? Well, they were written on yellow paper. LOL)

After Ron thought through every critique, he would sit down and compose the story’s final draft. Every word was carefully and meticulously handwritten on those memorable yellow legal pads. (I still find extra unused pads hidden amongst his things.) The legal pad would go to his administrative assistant, Christiane Emory, and she would type it up on her computer.

Yes, Ken Collier was a best friend to Ron. Not only would they discuss Patch adventure ideas, but life problems and joys as well. If you know Ken, he is a godly and thoughtful confidant. I am so grateful for their friendship bond.

About 15 years into our marriage, Ron began telling me that I was his best friend. He told me this often. Now that he can mostly only communicate with me with his eyes and his touch, his words echo in my mind.

Sadness and happiness are a chaotic mix in my heart. Why didn’t I appreciate this wonderful medal of honor more? Why didn’t I enjoy our moments together more? Tears are flowing down my cheeks as I reminisce. All is well. No need to worry about my mental state. These remembrances are good for the soul.

What do I remember?

I remember Ron running across the Bob Jones campus between classes. I remember him singing in my dad’s vesper choir. I remember him asking me to marry him on Valentine’s Day, 1975. I remember us traveling the US in a motor home with our newborn baby, Jonathan. I remember Ron and me singing at multiple weddings and Valentine’s banquets. I remember Ron taking me to Atlanta or New York City for weekend getaways. I remember him taking each of our children on special trips—just him and them.

The status of best friend is a coveted one and should not be taken for granted. As I think upon it, how could I have been blind and ignorant of its implications? Ron was a faithful husband for certain. He was always the same gentle and sweet temperament. He was the physical rock for our family. He remembered special anniversaries, I’m ashamed to admit, more than I did.

Then why did I sometimes get upset at him for being a saver, when I wanted to spend? Why did I focus on him being stubborn, when I wanted to be flexible and impulsive? Why did I not appreciate his healthy eating habits, when I wanted to indulge in sweets?

I can’t even think of one good reason—now that he can’t save his money, can’t control where he goes, and can’t control what he eats.

My friends, be careful what you think about your close loved ones, especially your husband or wife. Focus on the reason you married them in the first place. Don’t heap coals of fire on their heads because of their faults. I am fully aware that some of you wish you had your mate to appreciate. But numerous unfortunate circumstances make this impossible.

So while you can—make your spouse your best friend. You’ll never be sorry.

Shelly Hamilton serves through Majesty Music and served with her husband Ron in the Patch the Pirate ministry. We republish her articles with permission.