The Risk of Marriage

This week our family had the sweet privilege of witnessing the marriage of our youngest son to a wonderful Christian young woman. It was a joyful time for all of us.

Marrying someone is taking a huge risk. Unfortunately, there are many who want all the benefits of marriage without marriage itself because they believe the institution of marriage too risky. You place your future in the hands of another—your happiness, children, finances and so much more. Anyone who has endured the ravages of divorce understands how life-damaging a marriage gone wrong can become.

However, it is the risk—the vulnerability, the faith necessary—that also makes marriage so wonderful. Two people become one. They complete one another in ways we do not fully understand. This is how God intended it to be when He created Adam and Eve and established the first marriage.

This is also why divorce is so painful. Violating that union is a sin against one’s own person (1 Corinthians 6:16-19). The damage done by ripping that union apart causes great pain (Malachi 2:13-16). God hates divorce because it is a gross violation of trust—it damages the person you are commissioned to protect.

So we treat marriage as such a solemn thing. It is of vital importance. Yes, it is a picture of Christ and the Church and that teaching picture is of eternal value, but it also is a relationship of trust intended to protect a man and a woman and their children for life. It is not just a party and Christians must not treat it flippantly. Yes, it is a time of joy. Americans often turn life’s most important moments into silly things. It’s not about a dress, the cake, the family, or even the divinely ordained physical union that follows. It is about two people committing themselves to love and care for one another before God for life. The ceremony should reflect that.

Trust assumes risk but the level of that risk is commensurate with the nature of the object of that trust. The risk I take in abandoning my self-dependence and placing my confidence in Christ alone is not high because Jesus is fully worthy of that trust. I know that my own human efforts cannot save me. I have to trust that the Bible is true and that God will do as He has promised in honoring the work of His own Son on the Cross.

However, the risk we take when we put our trust in another fallen, sinful, human being is great indeed. That is why truly successful, joyful Christian marriages take commitment in spite of the flaws that become all too obvious not long after the vows are spoken. Successful Christian marriages take effort and sacrifice. They require obedience to God in the roles He has ordained, and above all a successful Christian marriage is dependent on the demonstration of the fruit only the Spirit of God can produce.

Every wedding should remind all of us who are married just how precious those vows that we made still are—and how important it is to remain diligent in honoring our God in keeping them.