Age, Widows, and Serving in the Local Church

1 Timothy 5:1-16

The local church is not an interest group, it is a family—a household. Families are intergenerational. In fact, the intergenerational relationships in families are what families are all about. However, there can be conflicts between the competing interests of the generations in the local church family, so Paul gives Timothy (1 Timothy 5:1-16) some specific instructions on how these family relationships must play out.

While the term widows is used throughout the text, the principles apply to aging parents. Here are some critical principles.

Generational groups must treat one another with mutual respect.

• Younger members must treat older members with respect.

They must not be rebuked like children or even equals. One of the great dangers of the internet is that it has become an unhealthy democracy where everyone views his own opinion as equal to that of others. The opinion of a youngster who has watched a few YouTube videos is not equal to the opinion of a doctor who has practiced medicine for decades. I have some very wise and experienced pastor and theological professor friends who seldom interact with younger pastors on social media because of the arrogance and disrespect with which they have been treated by younger men in ministry. Time and expertise have not made them equals. The sad fact is that many of these younger men would greatly benefit from those they have chosen to mock.

This goes the same for the older women in the congregation. In fact, for the aged of both genders, there must be a level of respect afforded them even when their bodies and minds begin to fail.

• Older members must treat younger members as equals.

This is not inconsistent. Younger people must treat older members with respect while the older members must treat the younger members as equals. In this passage, they must treat them as brothers and sisters in Christ, not children. Most of us in the church know people both older and younger than we are so both commands apply to us. Paul mentions the younger women specifically. Secular cultures tend to view young women as sex objects to be played with, leered at, spoken to abusively, and worse.  In the church, they must be treated as precious and respected and protected as sisters.

Families must care for their aging members.

• Families or the church family should provide care.

In this case, the widows are in view, but the principles would apply to all older members of a congregation or widows (even younger ones) that need care. Natural families have the first responsibility. Children and grandchildren have a responsibility to care for their aging parents. It was considered a horrible shame in both the Roman and Greek culture for a man to allow his parents to go destitute. Timothy echoes that sentiment that to fail in the care for aging parents, in meeting the needs of one’s own family is a horrible sin.

Those that have no family must come under the care of their church family. These were called widows indeed in the New Testament church. It was a culture without Social Security Checks or SSA. Like Naomi and Ruth, these widows were left destitute in the world and had to pray daily for God’s provision just for the most basic of life’s needs.

• Aging members must receive care agreeably.

Paul says that the widow that lives self-indulgently is dead while she lives. This verse has confused many. I believe what he is saying is that the one who is being cared for cannot demonstrate a self-indulgent attitude or lifestyle. To do so, makes that person’s useful life useless. They are dead living people.

How does a widow or aging person demonstrate self-indulgence? Through a sense of entitlement, laziness, obstinance, anger, undermining the relationship between their children and grandchildren, complaining, bitterness, and many other ways. This type of situation is not hard to imagine, we have all seen it in certain families.

Age provides unique and effective opportunities for service.

The early church not only had a ministry TO widows, but it also had an extensive ministry carried out BY widows. 

The next section of 1 Timothy 5 has caused a lot of confusion. My understanding is that “the number” was not the list of widows under care, but was the New Testament designation for a special team of serving widows in the local church. This specialized group of women who found themselves single in their later years chose to forego prospects of remarriage and dedicate themselves completely to serving the needs of the church. The Roman Catholic Church probably derived its idea of nuns from this passage although the present practice breaks the guidelines Paul lays out for the ministry.

They had a specific list of requirements in order to be accepted into this ministry. They must be over sixty years old. Younger women were not allowed but rather were encouraged to care for their families and consider remarrying in the Lord. They must be one-man women. Whatever you believe is required of pastors and deacons in chapter three is required of these servants in chapter 5. At the very least, it means that they had been faithful wives to their husbands while their husbands were living. They should have raised children. The idea is that her children are grown now and that she faithfully carried out the tasks of a mother. They must have shown hospitality. This was an important way of expressing love in the early church. While many cities had inns, those places were usually filthy, dangerous, and full of immorality. No church member would want another believer to stay there. They must have washed the saint’s feet. She considered no ministry to another would be considered “beneath” her. They must have relieved the afflicted. This probably speaks of caring for the sick and hurting. They must be diligent about living out their faith in their life’s actions.

What is it that these women did? They probably coordinated a lot of ministries within the local church. The requirements give us an indication of what those ministries might be. They provided guidance and counsel to younger women—especially young wives and mothers (Titus 2. They coordinated relief and care for the sick and hurting. They coordinated church hospitality ministries. They provided relief for young mothers living in a world where caring for a household and children was a monumental and often overwhelming task.  Above all, regardless of physical limitation, they could engage in a ministry of deep intercessory prayer which accomplishes much.

The next few verses explain why the younger women were not allowed to make a life’s commitment to such a ministry. They likely still had families to care for and might want to remarry.  There are some verses that seem a bit harsh and must be left for a follow-up article.

So, how are we doing?

I know of very few churches where such an organized system of support and help is in place–led by older godly women. It is something we might do well to consider implementing. Human needs tend to remain the same throughout the centuries.