The Gender Crisis is a Problem Our Culture Created
The gender identity of men and women in our culture is skewed, and I am afraid Christians buy into it too often. The comic book culture has created a vision of masculinity that is physically powerful, emotionally distant, angry, and brooding. Now there are variations but that is the general idea.
Our culture has made femininity equivalent to sexual attractiveness. If a young woman doesn’t look good in a skimpy bathing suit, then she is not truly feminine. Of course, the body-shaming backlash culture tries to make the case that ALL women are appealing in a skimpy swimsuit—which is not the point.
This message that we have fed to our children from birth has impacted their view of self. If a young man does not particularly like sports or hunting, then he must be something other than male. If a girl likes softball, she is probably not heterosexual. I am not overstating this. This is the way young people are conditioned to think and actually are thinking today. A girl once sat in my office and told me, “I never really had a boyfriend and I like to play softball, so my friends always told me that I was gay. I guess I just eventually believed them.”
The pre-teen girl who enjoyed being a bit of a tomboy with dad is now looked upon as being in a different gender category than her cheerleader peers.
The problem is easy to see. Our world—the world without a biblical worldview—has no grip whatsoever on what a man or woman is really supposed to be. One of our problems is that many believers do not really have a grip on it either.
I do believe we have two ultimate models for biblical manhood and womanhood found in scripture.
Jesus is the model male.
Jesus was a man. Yes, I am speaking about gender. He was righteous, confident, and a leader. He was also known for being ultimately kind and meek. There is no biblical indication that Jesus had a competitive streak, which is essential for masculinity in some realms. He did not fight for Himself but willingly laid down His life for others.
I remember a preacher when I was in high school saying that Jesus was a “man’s man” and went on to talk about how masculine He probably was, and physically powerful. It was a fanciful, biblically inaccurate, and potentially damaging portrayal of Christ. Isaiah 53 says clearly that Jesus was average in every physical way. You would not have picked Him out of the crowd just by looking at Him. What made Jesus admirable aside from His divine nature was His righteous walk with God and His self-sacrificing spirit. Every boy can follow that model of masculinity. It is not limited to the tall, strong, athletically gifted, or emotionally aggressive. It is based upon the internal character that is enabled by the power of the Holy Spirit.
The Proverbs 31 woman is the model female.
While Christ-likeness must not be minimized for all believers—including females, the Proverbs 31 woman is the most complete description of biblical femininity. She is industrious, strong, a servant of others, a provider for her household, a businesswoman, she dresses with beauty and dignity and does the same for her family. There is so much more. There is nothing mentioned regarding her sex appeal, her bodily proportions, or even her facial attractiveness. The characteristics of this woman are also attainable for every believing woman regardless of her natural physical beauty.
Now, more than ever, we need to intentionally teach our children about true biblical manhood and womanhood. They need to know that God created every one of them unique, but that none of those differences in talent, inclination, and even body style is a threat to the gender given to them at birth by a loving and wise Heavenly Father.
They need to learn to be thankful for who they are and how God made them and we need to cast a vision for how God might use their unique set of physical characteristics, talents, and passions for His glory.
Satan has set a false standard for what a man and woman should be, and then when that standard cannot be met, he offers a destructive solution to the problem he created. My heart breaks for a generation of vulnerable young people who are being duped by the wicked one. May we genuinely show them the compassion and balance of the word of God on this important subject.
Photo by Dave Linabury