Biblical Principles of Friendship
Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. James 4:4
Merriam-Webster states that friendship is the quality or state of being friendly. Synonyms include: benevolence, brotherhood, charity, cordiality, fellowship, friendliness, kindliness, and neighborliness.
There are friends that are truly friends and then there are those whose interest in you only relates to their benefit. There are several keys to a good friendship.
- Some friendships are formed around common interests. Two men who both enjoy dear hunting might easily form a friendship or two women who both enjoy morning walks. Can you imagine the joy and fellowship that was experienced in the early church when the saints had all things in common (Acts 2:44 – 47).
- Closely related, it is difficult to be a friend with someone when they are walking (living) in an opposite direction. As Christians, we must realize that we are merely pilgrims here on earth. A friend then might be a fellow companion or fellow traveler on this journey. Genesis 5:22 reveals that Enoch walked with God. Their friendship was so close that God simply took him home without having to go through the process of physical death (Genesis 5:24).
- Also based on Acts 2:44-47, friendships are often formed when people share a common destiny. The saints in the early church looked toward the return of the Lord Jesus Christ. This is one reason why special friendships are often made within a local church family.
- On earth, your spouse ought to be your greatest friend. My wife is the greatest friend that I have. Principle: If your relationship with God is not what it ought to be, then all other relationships will be strained. If a person truly wants to love their spouse as they ought, then they need to love God with all their heart, mind and soul. This is one reason why God’s people have an incredible advantage over the unsaved when it comes to making friends.
- A really good friend is someone committed to your welfare or happiness. This kind of friend would literally humble himself to esteem you better than themselves, even looking out for your interests (Philippians 2:3-4). This is the mindset that Jesus had in going to Calvary’s Cross on our behalf. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13). There is no greater friend. So the obvious question relates to whether or not you are truly a friend of His? Jesus said: Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you (John 15:14, 15).
- A true friend will warn you or confront you when they see something you are doing that will hurt your life and perhaps the relationship between the two of you.
- A true friend will never ask you to place the friendship before your principles of life. Your consistent faithfulness to the Lord is important to His blessing in your life and your testimony before your friend. A true friend will encourage you to live up to your potential.
- A genuine friend will love you. The Apostle Paul would be a great friend if he were on the earth today. He truly loved people (I Corinthians 10:14; Romans 12:19; II Corinthians 7:1; 12:19). A good friend will be committed to all of the reciprocal (one another) passages of Scripture.
Jonathan and David provide some idea of what a good friendship is all about. I Samuel 18:1 indicates that they both loved each other as their own souls. Both were even willing to die for the other. Jonathan demonstrated his love by being willing to give up his throne (kingdom) for David.
Abraham was remembered as being a friend of God (James 2:23). David had an intimate relationship with God the Father and God chose him to be the king of Israel (I Samuel 13:14).
If you are to have friends, you must first show yourself friendly (Proverbs 18:24). Our concern ought to be more being a friend than trying to gain a friend. Too many people try to gain friends and end up with nothing. Never, never offer friendship lightly or casually. Weigh carefully the choices you make to be your friends.
It is most important that we understand that God created us for His glory. Therefore, you cannot be a friend of the world and a friend of God at the same time. The world is the enemy of God (James 4:4).
The disciples of Jesus would have been known as His friends. They traveled with Jesus and were committed to His ministry. It is obvious that Judas was never a true friend of Jesus refusing to commit himself to following His commands (John 15:14). Peter, James and John were the closest to Jesus during His ministry (Mark 5:37; Matthew 17:1). The Apostle John referred to himself as “the one Jesus loved” (John 14:13). John chose to be the closest to Jesus and was such a servant friend that Jesus assigned to him the care of His mother when He left this earth.
Do you consider yourself a friend of the Lord? Do you have His best welfare as a priority in your life? Are you obedient to His instructions? Are your desires and goals related to His? Do you find yourself enjoying to spend time with Him, talking with Him and talking about Him with others?
George Stiekes serves as a Lay Pastor at Bethany Bible Church in Hendersonville, NC. See here for a more complete bio of brother Stiekes extensive ministry. We republish his material by permission.
Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash