Christians, Stop Calling Women “Karen”
Unless that is actually their name, of course. I should not have to feel bad for women whose parents named them Karen. It is a beautiful name and they should be able to wear it with joy.
Unless you have been living in total isolation you have heard, or maybe even used the term Karen to describe a certain kind of woman.
A Definition in Search of Word
I am not going to apologize for using Wikipedia (here ) for a definition of this new slang term which is becoming ubiquitous in our culture.
Karen is a pejorative term for women seeming to be entitled or demanding beyond the scope of what is normal. The term also refers to memes depicting white women who use their privilege to demand their own way. Depictions also may include demanding to “speak to the manager”, being racist, or sporting a particular bob cut hairstyle. The term has been criticized for being sexist, ageist, misogynistic, or seeking to control female behavior.
The general idea of this kind of woman has been around for quite a while. Other feminine names and terms (some really ugly ones) have been attached to the idea. Although the term was around before this, the event the might have vaulted the word “Karen” into its most common usage was when Amy Cooper (here), walking in Central Park took offense to a black man who asked her to put her dog on a leash. She called the police and claimed that she was being threatened by an “African-American man.” Certainly, many of the Karens in the news have done some very ugly things—like the woman who purposefully coughed on other people after being asked to wear a mask.
However, as the use of the word spreads, the meaning is changing—almost by the minute. It has been used for women who do not wear masks, who horde toilet paper, or who tell the guy illegally fishing in the neighborhood pond that he must leave. Most recently I saw the term Courtside Karen used to describe a woman who got into a courtside screaming match with LeBron James at an NBA basketball game. I did not even know there were fans at these games yet. Some people are simply referring to all middle-aged white women as Karens as a sexist, ageist, racist pejorative.
An expression of the cancel culture.
I am not defending the ugly behavior of many of these women who have made the news. I am warning that using a label—a name—to categorize and dismiss a person is unkind and ungodly. The term is now being used as a cudgel to bludgeon anyone who confronts or challenges their behavior. This is indicative of the meme culture in which we live. It has been fostered by social media and the vast onslaught of political advertising to which we were subjected this past year. (Am I the only one who believes that you cannot make a reasoned case for a political candidate in a 15 second TV or internet spot?). Secretly, there is an entire generation of women who deeply fear showing up on some viral internet video with the label “Karen” on the masthead.
One of the great benefits of living in a free society is to be able to compete in the free market of ideas—even political and religious ideas. It should not be our desire to silence anyone because they disagree with us. We should be free to publicly disagree, even vigorously so, without denying the right of free speech to another.
The use of the term Karen much like other terms such as racist becomes a weapon to label, demean, and dismiss others. I am not saying that there are no racists in the world or people who act in ugly entitled ways toward others. However, simply dismissing people who behave badly by labeling is to perpetuate the same problem. The use of the term “racist” is often used in a racist way. Calling a woman a Karen in order to dismiss her concerns is to be what you are accusing her of being.
Not all labels are bad. Some have well-defined and purposeful meaning. For instance, the term socialist has a clearly defined definition and is not wrong to use as long as it is being used accurately. The same could be said for communist, Christian, liberal, conservative, fundamentalist, and many other terms that categorize people with clearly definable and debatable ideas. However, labels like Karen have no commonly held definition are used for their emotional impact in order to cause shame.
Can we make the case from scripture that this is wrong? Romans 12:17-21 contains the answer. When a person slings out a name like this, it is often dishonest. It often paints a person in a way that is not accurate. Even if it accurately describes the person at that moment, it does not describe them as a person or their life as a whole. No one would want their entire life to be characterized by their worst moment. And the testimonial videos are often edited and clipped to skew the story. Even if the person is treating you or someone else poorly, labeling them publicly is returning evil for evil, it is not seeking to live peaceably with others. We are commanded by God to treat our enemies with kindness and overcome evil with good.
So even when I am right, name-calling is wrong.
Photo by Stephen Bowler