Why Is a Forgiving Hug Offensive?

In a Dallas courtroom this week an 18-year-old young man hugged his brother’s killer and forgave her, just after she received a ten-year prison sentence for her actions. Brandt Jean’s brother had done nothing wrong, He was an innocent victim. You can read about the details in many news outlets.

What has surprised me is the reaction. Many find his choice to forgive offensive—or at least an occasion to condemn and criticize. Jemar Tisby wrote this for the Washington Post.

A society built around white superiority is also built around white innocence — an assumption of the intrinsic moral virtue of all white people and the purity of their intentions regardless of impact. White innocence assumes black forgiveness.

So people are celebrating Brandt’s gesture of forgiveness. Such a sentiment is praised as an admirable example of Christian faith in action.

Some of the readers’ comments on this story are even more eye-opening.  It is fairly clear that many in the general public just do not understand Christian thinking.

Brandt Jean’s motivation was clearly stated.

Brandt is a Christian, and his brother professed to be one. He urged Guyger to turn to Jesus. “I think giving your life to Christ would be the best thing that Botham would want for you,” he said.

The story is about forgiveness, not race.

This story is not about a black person forgiving a white person. It is about the love of Jesus Christ. To read racial symbolism into it would be to cheapen the gesture. It is about a young man who looks beyond skin color, history, even personal pain, and sees another human being as an eternal soul for whom Christ died.

Forgiveness presumes guilt.

Brandt did not forgive Amber Guyger, his brother’s killer, because she is somehow innocent. Innocent people do not need forgiveness. He forgave her because she is guilty—hopelessly guilty—and cannot undo the horrible damage she has done to an undeserving man and his family.

Forgiveness cannot be demanded.

We can ask forgiveness of one another, but we cannot demand it. True forgiveness can only be granted by a willing heart. True forgiveness is a gift, not a right.

Forgiveness does not eliminate justice.

Brandt can forgive, but Amber Guyger is still going to jail. In our system of law, the family of the victim cannot release the killer from legal consequences. Crimes have consequences and they cannot be just written off. There are practical reasons for this. If victims could forgive the consequences, then they could easily become victims again through threats of violence or offers of bribery.  Truly evil people could walk free and the general public would be endangered. Most crimes are not just against the victim but victimize the society itself as well.

As strange as it may seem, this concept of unbending justice is at the heart of New Testament Christianity. All of us, no matter what race are sinners and have sinned against a holy God. He is a God of justice and His justice demands payment. It is not just what He demands, it is what He is. It is in His nature. He cannot be bribed and He cannot be intimidated.

However, He does love us.

That is why Jesus Christ died on the cross. God Himself paid the penalty for my sin at the greatest possible cost to Himself.  He did this for all of us so that we might be forgiven and freed from the horrible consequences of our guilt. We do not then just walk free in the same spiritual condition in which He found us. When we believe, He begins to change us into His image for His glory. We become new people—not of our own doing, but His.

As Christians, we forgive because we have been forgiven. I thank God for Brandt Jean. He has shown us an example of biblical love.