How to Respond to the Verbally Abused Wife
While the article on our main blog site deals with physical abuse within the home, Brandi Huerta addresses the subject of verbal and emotional abuse. This is much more difficult to discern clearly and address. This article is a worthwhile read. (KSchaal)
Entering the pain of the verbally abused wife is a daunting responsibility. The woman suffering from verbal abuse in her marriage faces an intimidating challenge as she seeks to get help from the church for her family. If indeed she can muster the courage to attempt to do so. Her plea will probably be met with disbelief in her claims, unwillingness to help, or accusations that she isn’t submissive enough, instead of the loving and patient care she needs. She also may face retaliation from her husband if he finds out she’s talking to other people about their problems.Her would-be caregiver is in a tough position, too. The cost of entering into this lady’s prison (Hebrews 13:13) could be significant in terms of time and emotional distress. A feeling of utter inadequacy can lead the helper to offer a prayer, asking Him to send someone else, anyone else, to come to their aid.My earnest plea before the Lord as I write this is to serve people needing care as well as those bringing it. I hope this article can at least give you a place to start. Inadequate care in a situation like this can inflict much more harm than good and bring further damage to already broken souls. Please don’t let this discourage you from serving them—but do proceed with caution. For the rest of the article go here.
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If a husband is unrepentant of verbal abuse when confronted, how would you counsel his wife to respond? Is there a point where you would encourage her to move out of the home?
Kit, these questions require a lot of wisdom and prayer. There is a need for safety. Some speech is criminal – uttering threats, for example. Law enforcement can be a help in some situations. Each case will present different issues, so it is hard to give a blanket answer. However, for safety’s sake, there may be a need for some separation for cooling down and trying to bring about repentance. No situations like this are easy. (Also, I think Kevin’s post of today – June 11, 2018 – may touch on this a bit.)
Maranatha!
Don Johnson
Jer 33.3
Thanks, that’s helpful. Making threats is certainly a serious matter that can’t be tolerated. From there, the spectrum of abuses can be pretty broad. This is a tricky question with potentially huge ramifications.