An Exemplary Pastor’s Wife
Many people have written books and articles about the pastor’s wife. She is too often unnoticed and under-appreciated in our service for Christ. I’d like to testify on the role by the example of the pastor’s wife I know best, my own.
Whatever impact I have had with people largely is due to the ministry and personality of my wife, but my wife’s ministry for Christ is much different from other pastors’ wives because my wife had two strokes when she was younger. Her first stroke was less than three months after we were married, when she was 21 years old. She recovered completely from this stroke, but she had another stroke almost four years later when she was 25 years old. This stroke, however, has left her with limited use of her right arm and, at times, difficulty speaking (although she seems to communicate very clearly when she is angry at me!).
Because of the effects of these strokes, Susan is not able to do what other pastor’s wives do. Many pastor’s wives teach classes, hold leadership in women’s groups, organize various ministries at churches, and other activities. My wife cannot do those activities, at least not to the extent that other pastors’ wives can. She sometimes struggles to find the right words, such as when she tried to talk me about our plans to see the Dead Sea Scrolls this coming summer with our daughter and her family in Denver. Susan kept referring to them as the “Bible Rolls”, and I did not know what she was talking about.
Occasionally my wife feels guilty for not being able to do what other pastor’s wives do. She gets frustrated at wanting to do more but not able to do more. She sometimes blames herself that our church does not have some of the women’s ministries that other churches have.
The Lord has compensated Susan for inability in some areas by giving her abilities in other areas. For example, she has a beautiful singing voice. Strangely, sometimes people who have had strokes which affect their speaking voice are still able to sing. In other words, sometimes they can sing better than they can talk. She sings around our home almost constantly and sings with the women at church.
I have watched my wife show tremendous compassion to people who are enduring physical or personal problems. She has a way of talking to them, relating to them, encouraging them that has come, in large part, from her personal experience and frustrations with living with the effects of strokes. The personality and empathy she has developed since the strokes has been amazing to see. Some pastors’ wives can give the impression of being one type of person at church and another person at home, putting on a “mask” at church because she is expected to behave a certain way. My wife does not do that. What she is at church is what she is at home, and people know that.
My wife’s limitations have encouraged other women in our church to assume responsibilities that they perhaps would not normally have. This has been good for these women and good for my wife to see women who genuinely care and are not manipulating for position or attention. Instead of my wife “running” everything associated with women’s ministries, the women in our church work together for each other.
My wife is a tremendous asset for ministry to couples, those with health problems, and particularly those in nursing homes. People recognize her situation right away and know that when she expresses concern or care, she is genuine in that expression.
A pastor’s wife can have many roles, the role the Lord has given my wife is essential in our service for Christ.
Wally Morris is pastor of Charity Baptist Church in Huntington, IN. The church blogsite is amomentofcharity.blogspot.com. He has also published A Time To Die: A Biblical Look At End-Of-Life Issues by Ambassador International.