Confronting Loneliness
A recent study deems loneliness a national epidemic, plaguing nearly half of our population. Specifically, 46% of Americans report “always feeling alone,” and 27% feel as though people do not understand them. Generation Z (ages 18-22) is the loneliest generation according to this study. Another important finding is that social media provides no cure for loneliness.
In our fast-paced society, with cram-packed schedules and a multitude of demands in our work, family, finances and often battling sickness, we can all face times of loneliness. For many, however, loneliness is a constant companion.
Times when people may face acute loneliness are seasons of transition, times of rejection, separation, opposition, and discomfort. As we consider 2 Timothy 4, we find the Apostle Paul facing all of these at the same time. He is in jail and staring at imminent death, the ultimate transition of life. Further, former friends like Demas have rejected him. He writes as if stabbed in his soul, “Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world” (2 Timothy 4:10). Paul also references by name those who opposed him, doing him “much evil” (2 Timothy 4:14). He speaks of faithful servants like Mark and Titus who are doing the Lord’s work, far removed from him. He was uncomfortable in the cold prison and asked Timothy to bring his cloke, and finally, he did not have his beloved reading materials as he appealed to Timothy, “bring the books, but especially the parchments” (2 Timothy 4:13).
In such a situation where Paul had every human cause to claim loneliness, remarkably, he does not! Paul confronts his loneliness in these simple yet wise ways. May his testimony be an example for all of us.
First, he asked others for help.
This very personal passage of Scripture gets to the heart of why Paul wrote it: he wants Timothy to visit him and to bring Mark, his warm clothes, and his reading materials. That would make four great men in prison fellowshipping together: Timothy, Mark, Luke and Paul! This gets to the first practical help for lonely days: ask others to visit you or help you through the difficult times.
A second way Paul overcame loneliness was he utilized his time.
By asking Timothy to bring the books and parchments, Paul sought to make the best of a bad situation. He used his time in jail for eternal benefit: he studied, he prayed, he won jailers to Christ, and he wrote many books of the New Testament. He even wrote this book of 2 Timothy while he was on the brink of his own death.
As you utilize your time in a manner pleasing and glorifying to God, take care of yourself: cook good meals, get proper rest, make sure you spend time with God in fellowship through prayer and His Word, write, and commune with God.
A third pathway to confront loneliness is to refuse bitterness and always embrace forgiveness.
Paul refused to be bitter at anyone who opposed him or caused his imprisonment. “At my first answer no man stood with me, but all men forsook me: I pray God that it may not be laid to their charge.” (2 Timothy 4:16). Paul committed his case to God and so should we.
The next way Paul confronted his loneliness was to recognize God’s presence. He boldly states, “Notwithstanding the Lord stood with me, and strengthened me.” (2 Timothy 4:17a) Paul realized that the Lord Jesus Christ was with him even when others were deserting him and opposing him. The reality of God’s personal presence makes this possible for all of God’s people: we are never alone for He will never leave or forsake us. While being alone may be unavoidable, loneliness is a choice because Jesus is always with us.
A fifth way Paul confronted loneliness is he kept alive his vision to minister to the needs of others around him. Paul focused on his mission in the darkest of circumstances still preaching the Gospel to every creature as he states, “that by me the preaching might be fully known, and that all the Gentiles might hear: and I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion.” (2 Timothy 4:17b)
Paul, even so close to death, knew that as long as he lived, someone around him still needed Christ. He still sought to proclaim the message of Jesus Christ, and even though he was in jail, bound, and could say, “the Word of God is not bound.” (2 Tim. 2:9)
The last principle Paul demonstrates for us to confront loneliness is this: never lose focus on God’s power.
“And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever.” (2 Timothy 4:18). The demonstration of God’s power for Paul at this point in his life was not to deliver him from jail and physical death, but to deliver him from any evil work and bring his soul to heaven!
While we live in days when many are lonely around us, we can tell them of the One who will never leave them alone. May God give us a sense of His real presence to know how to confront our own lonely times and turn them into testimonies of His ever-present grace.
Matt Recker is the pastor of Heritage Baptist Church in New York City.
Photo by Jake Oates on Unsplash