Closing the Generation Gap

By Kevin Schaal | April 26, 2018

FrontLine March/April 2018 | VOLUME 28 | NUMBER 2

For there is a man whose labour is in wisdom, and in knowledge, and in equity; yet to a man that hath not laboured therein shall he leave it for his portion. This also is vanity and a great evil. Ecclesiastes 2:21

Is this verse just reflecting a ubiquitous bad attitude of old age or communicating a specific personal experience? In either case, it’s a common frustration. But whose fault?

The difficulty in producing a magazine on the generation gap is that the parameters are so fuzzy and no generation is monolithic. None of us see things the same, and that includes people of the same generation!

So how do we even start to address the problem that Solomon articulates—preserving what is most precious from generation to generation?

We first have to take a look in the mirror. If there is a problem, how have I contributed to it?

Each writer in this issue will address problems that his own generation must confront. But there are also problems common to both generations that need to be addressed.

Not realizing we are the older generation. We tend to think of ourselves as younger than we are. As a result, our focus is often on the older generation we love, revere, fear, or despise. We can fail to notice that our influence on the coming generation might be most significant right now.

Living in fear of our predecessors rather than learning from them. We are often afraid to ask why, or we ask only when we are in the depths of frustration. We end up becoming people-pleasers, and such hypocrisy is easily seen by the next generation.

Not welcoming “Why?” Assume questions are sincere. We sometimes foolishly believe the younger generation starts out “with” us and sometimes “leaves” us. Fundamentalists are not born, they are made by the eternal Word of God. They have to form convictions based upon the Word of God—not because we taught it or believe it. If it’s worth believing, it’s defendable and worth explaining.

Not listening. When I was a young person in ministry, I remember a conversation I had with a peer who had just come out of a meeting with a respected man who should have been his mentor. “Did he give you an answer?” I asked. “He didn’t even listen to the question” was his response. Instead, the leader presumed he understood the question and lit into an oft-repeated long-winded answer that completely submarined any real communication or teaching. “It’s like putting a coin in a jukebox,” he said. “Oh, here comes that same old song again.” I wonder how many times I do that. Failure to listen is not confined to one generation.

Laziness. Laziness is not always a lack of effort. Sometimes it is doing what I like, that which comes easily, over what is most important. Influence demands the risk of rejection or failure. It requires revisiting issues and ideas we thought were settled over and over again—sometimes with new audiences, and other times with the same audience. For a young person it might include getting multiple perspectives rather than just assuming one represents all.

The pride of age or education. We sometimes foolishly think our success, experience, wisdom, education, or even just age is what gives us success and qualifies us to give advice or reject the advice of others. We must always remain desperately dependent upon the Holy Spirit to do His work in and through us. We must always remember that our only authority is the Word of God.

Hanging on too long or quitting too early. There is usually a time in a person’s ministry when he is ready to quit but should not—and there also may be a time when he should step aside and will not. The first instance is usually sometime in early midlife when facing personal or ministry problems that are disheartening. The second is toward transition age. We sometimes refuse to trust “our” ministries to God as His. And sadly, sometimes we just have not wisely planned for transition, and we ruin what God has done in our lives.

Not scheduling interaction. A relationship does not just happen. It is planned. It has to go on the calendar. And it is not always pleasant, but it is a biblical mandate. We are commanded to reach generations to come. Failure to put a plan to that command is disobedience.

Taking things personally. “Loyalty” is a dangerous word when used by one who is demanding it. It is often a form of manipulation. Personal feelings of hurt when our counsel is rejected or when we are corrected become an obstacle that often ends a relationship.

Not admitting when I am wrong.

Quitting on the other generation too soon. We either think the other generation has departed before they actually have or think they have rejected us before they have. Even when things seem to be going wrong in a relationship, keep talking, keep connected, keep answering questions. After all, the primary attitude that should characterize relationships between generations is enduring, honest, confronting, hoping love.

Kevin Schaal

Closing the Generation Gap

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